Being There.

I'm not always there for my kids.
In fact, just this morning, I selfishly assumed Brandon was going to pick Cooper up from school.
I was wrong.
I pulled into the empty parking lot to see a little boy all alone at the top of the hill, kicking snow. Where he had been, for seven minutes, with no hat or gloves, waiting for his mom to be there.
I haven't found a feeling more awful.
Yet I was so relieved to see him, I'd been nervous and scared the whole way there just knowing I'd let him down and hoping he was okay, worried that he would be scared...

...


It's been a difficult day for Max.

As a family we've had a rough time with upset stomachs the last couple days. Poor Max can't seem to make heads or tails of it; an owie tummy feels like a hungry tummy which feels like a miserable little guy. To make matters worse, every time he closes his eyes he's woken up by, what I can only assume by his cries, are some pretty painful tummy cramps.

We didn't sleep last night.

We haven't cleaned in days.

And, someone with a little more excitement than common sense, told her husband to bring in all the Christmas bins amidst the stomach flu... (always a smart idea)

When I woke up this morning I found my stomach to be back to normal and my house anything but. I had a list bigger than me and a baby I couldn't put down. And, I hate to admit it, but I really just wanted to put him down.
Just for a couple minutes so I could get something done.

I had arranged to help in Kami's class today. Her teachers had to be at a funeral and so had asked if I wouldn't mind taking full control of the class. We had to be there in 15 minutes and I looked like a woman who had been sick for 2 days. So I put Max in his crib and went in the bathroom to try and make myself look more like a human being than a swamp monster.

I heard him crying and screaming, but he'd been crying and screaming all day. Plus he was mad at me for putting him down... he could deal for a couple minutes.

Then Cooper called out to me from the bedroom,
"uh mom, could you come here?"
(this kid has some pretty nonchalant manners in intense situations, reminds me of my brother Jamison)

Even now I don't know why I actually went to him...

I rounded the corner to see Cooper on the ground. A screw had snapped out of Max's crib and one corner of his mattress had crashed to the ground, turning his mattress into a slide straight into the corner post. Cooper had stuck his hand through the slats and caught Max just before he smashed into the rails. His little hand was all that was holding Max up and Max was dangling head first, scared out of his mind. And for the second time today I was so relieved to see my little Cooper, right where I needed him to be.

He was a super hero for me today, and for Max.

I'm not sure what would have happened had he not been there. Max might not have even gotten hurt. But I'm so grateful I didn't have to find out. I'm grateful, twice, that I didn't have to know what it would be like if he wasn't. If he wasn't there.
I'm so grateful for his little person, being there, right where I needed him.