Ironing

So, I have been meaning to blog this event in my life since it happened, yesterday morning. However, I haven't quite figured out how to word it so I sound witty and interesting. It is one of those experiences where the only way you are going to redeem yourself is if you word it with enough wit that people forget you are the idiot to whom the event actually happened to. unfornately, my wit fails me and so I am left floundering with no way to override my stupidity. So, I am just going to come right out and say it: I ran into the ironing board yesterday, hard. Smack dab, right on the head. . . . IDIOT!!
So, this all happened as I was trying to get on top of my house work (first big mistake). I had just taken the garbage out and was in the washroom bending down to sort clothes. Thats when it happened; my ironing board reached out and smacked me with a hammer square across my forehead. (Kay, so really I stood up and banged my head on one of it's metal legs) All the sudden the room started spinning, my eyes got blurry, I experiences a series of hot flashes, all accompanied by an incredibly intense amount of pain. I found it hard to breathe and, oh boy, did I want to cry. I was so sure I was about to pass out. I'd never been so sure of anything in my life! That was it, I was going to collapse from pain, right there, right then. "I did just feed my kids," I reasoned, with the only brain cells left inside me, "Brandon should be home in about an hour and a half. I'm sure they won't die in that amount of time. So it's okay if I do pass out here on the washroom floor. . . I should really train Kameryn on what to do in this sort of emergency...Man this hurts...I'm an idiot...This is payback for laughing at my mom....uh, I think I'm going to be sick!" Yep, I suddenly had a strong desire to puke my guts up in the kitchen sink. I held it together though.
When I could finally walk, I swaggered over to the mirror to survey the damage. Yep, not to shabby; a big red mark, the size and shape of a standard ironing board leg. Oh! These are the times I hate being so much like my mother! Of all the stupid things to do, I had to go run into an ironing board. It's not even adventurous or clever. The only thing that would make this story stupider is if I had been hit by a boat while at a four-way stop (Ha! Kadon that was hilarious!!)
So, I've got a big bruise now. (It actually fits in nice with all the other red marks on my face... dang zits!) Not to mention a bruised ego (if I had an ego to bruise) And, a really bad headache. I could've killed that ironing board!
Enjoy my pain; I hope it makes you laugh so hard you fall off your chair and bruise your bum! Have a fun time explaining that one to your friends. At least you won't feel as stupid as the girl who ran into the ironing board...