We have a dilemma at our home right now, a parenting dilemma. Kameryn has started becoming very defiant and moody (yea!...) Our two major dilemmas are the spitting and the constant declaration of "I don't like you"
Lets start with the spitting. When Kami gets mad at you she spits. Actually it is more like drool or spittle, but it is frustrating for us as parents. I'm sure it is not appropriate behavior, but what do you do? We have tried time out, unsuccessfully. Spankings make her even more upset, plus I am not huge on the idea. So, parents out there, any suggestions?
Next comes "I don't like you!" Always, whenever she doesn't get her way. Whenever she gets reprimanded or we tell her not to do something she immediately shouts out "I don't like you!" We have tried taking a passive approach by saying things like we don't care, it doesn't matter, etc. We have also tried reasoning with her letting her know that it is unkind to say those things, it hurts peoples feelings, etc. No avail.
How do you reason with a 3 year old? How do correct inappropriate behavior in a 3 year old? And how many of you mothers are laughing at me now for even posing these questions? Shame on you. Help us out. We are open to suggestions. Realize that spankings and slapping the mouth aren't exactly the way we prefer to do discipline. We would prefer to use reason and logic, with a 3 year old...don't laugh, just help.
I guess "I don't like you" is better than "I hate you,"...
ReplyDeleteYou should just tell her that Santa doesn't give presents to girls who talk that way. I'm pretty sure that that would work... she does understand the concept of Christmas and Santa, right?
ReplyDeleteI always responded with I Love You, or completely ignored it. I think the latter is the most successful. Children do things like this for attention. They don't care if it is positive or negative, just as long as it is attention. Try ignoring it and praising when she uses kind words. You and I both know that when you try to reason with a child they usually block the majority of it out. Remember the "WRONG" theory I told you I had heard on Dr. Laura.
ReplyDeleteIt does get better.
Mom
I agree with your mom. Ignore. We were just having the same issue and I had gone the same route as you (reasoning, singing "Jesus said Love everyone", stating "but I love you") none of it worked until I just igonred. And didn't realize it had stopped until I read your post. It's so frustrating, but...
ReplyDeletePray. I remember how difficult Jen was as a toddler. I got plenty of advice but seemed to get more frustrated each time it didn't work. IT wasn't until I prayed and listened that I discovered what would work for her. Kids are very different but the one person who know us all is our Heavenly Father. Good Luck.
ReplyDeleteShe's just trying to assert her independence. She knows now that she is a person seperate from you, and she wants to define that boundary better. Take it in stride, it will pass...and then come back when she's 12.
ReplyDelete