I got this fancy big shot camera for Christmas from the man who gives me goosebumps. Every once in a while I like to pull it out and take it for a test spin.
And by once in a while I mean every 30 seconds or so.

Now, I am no professional photographer, I've only read to page 20 of my owner's manual, and I currently know how to turn my camera on. But by golly it's amazing what 18 megapixels of expensive camera anatomy can do to a picture.
We are talking "holy blazes batman!"

As my camera kept cranking out one adorable picture after the next I kept thinking
"I've got to share these with the world!
But how?"

I mean, I couldn't just keep posting picture after picture after picture on my blog...

wait a minute...

it's MY blog. I can do whatever the heck I want.

Peace out suckas!


Max is my #1 photography muse. He has little to occupy his time so he always has a spare minute to pose for the camera. He's a quick learner too. The second he sees the big hunk of black stuff in front of Mommy's face he whips out his best grin.
I love him! I love being his Mom!




Check out that drool! That's HD baby.



I love that I caught Max laughing in this one. This camera is Amaze-balls.



Kami and Max.
AAGH! Aren't they the cutest?


Okay, I picked to display this one because of Kami's face.
Pick your jaw up off the floor. She really is that stunning in real life.

I tell her all the time that I won't be able to send her to school anymore because she is getting way too pretty. She thinks its a joke. But one day, I'm seriously not going to let her go to school anymore and I'm going to lock her in a tower... like Rapunzel.
It makes perfect sense to me.

What?! It's unlawful for so much cuteness to exist and yet it does.
Max had been doing the scooting thing he does around the floor and when I glanced over at him I noticed his nose had found a sticker. You have to take pictures of that kind of stuff. It's written in the handbook.
I read it, pg 19.

sometimes it's best to sleep with your fancy new camera right by your bedside so you can capture moments like this even before you put your glasses on

Raw...r

Let me tell you a story about the time I cooked prime rib for Christmas dinner.

It's a doozie.

It'd been a hectic Christmas, set in motion by one special little over-achiever who somehow fell prone to the "more is more" mentality of Christmas commercialism.
For some reason, cooking prime-rib sounded like an extra fantastic, exciting, and delicious endeavor. It was simple really: salt and pepper the roast, put it in the oven, be sure not to overcook it, and then marvel in the ecstasy that is your cooking prowess.
In hind sight, I should have realized something was up... I mean, we ate Wendy's for Christmas Eve dinner, a culinary masterpiece I assure you.

I had just pulled the last of the spread from the oven; yorshire pudding, a first in our house. The prime rib was resting under a tent of tinfoil, allowing carry-over cooking to do it's magic. The table was spread with "extra fancy" Christmas dinner fare - roasted broccoli and cauliflower, mashed potatoes and au jus (my own special culinary concoction), yorkshire pudding fresh from the oven, and my triumphant prime rib in the very center.

While I rounded up silverware for the table Brandon ceremoniously cut into the prime rib.

"Um, hun, how exactly do you want me to do this?"

I walked into the dining room expecting to show my husband how carving a roast wasn't rocket science.

There they sat, the entire family, eyes wide, starring blankly at the hunk of meat in the center of the table. Brandon had the knife sawing back and forth as blood oozed out of the center of our "perfectly medium-well" prime rib.

This was not going to end well, I could feel it in my bones.
After 4 minutes of attempting to salvage any meat that was actually cooked to a color my children recognized as consumable, I set down my knife.

Brandon picked up the pretty platter with the very rare, very bloody prime rib oozing in the center of it and moved it in to the kitchen counter.

"I think it's kind of freaking them out..."

To be honest, I think it was more than "kind of freaking" Brandon out.

I passed around the plates of "salvaged" prime rib.


Landon immediately voiced his opinion

"I don't think my like this chicken... yeah, my don't like this chicken. This chicken's not good huh? Guys, this chicken's not good."
(For the record, all unidentifiable meat is referred to as chicken in our house. Kind of a blanket statement sort of thing)

Kami sat at the table, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle, as she stared mortified at her plate.

"I think maybe some smoke got into my tummy so I can't eat anything.
... maybe my tummy just hurts so I can't eat anything."

Cooper poked around at his plate and actually put some meat in his mouth. Although he did ask me several times what all the white stuff was. Every time I told him it was fat. He was pretty fascinated by it.

"Mom, why do you like this white stuff on the chicken?"
"I don't Cooper, that's fat."
"Well, if you don't like it, then why did you make this recipe?"

why indeed.

But it wasn't just that the prime rib was rare. To be honest it was all terrible. The "roasted" veggies were more a mixture of charred and oily, the special au jus tasted like root beer, (... don't ask. I have no words.) the yorkshire pudding fell flat and then got cold and dense, and the mashed potatoes... well they were actually edible. But we'd had mashed potatoes 2 days in a row so they'd lost their finesse.


I left the table after the second bite. Somethings are best to walk away from.


Kameryn was the last one left sitting at the table sliding food around on her plate.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it Kami."
"Oh... well... I like the potatoes..."
"Kami, really, Mommy didn't like any of it. You don't have to eat it if you don't like it."

"Okay, 'cuz actually I don't really like it."

That's my girl.



After that disaster of a meal Brandon had this following gem of comfort to offer me:

"You know hun, I think maybe we just aren't prime rib people."

Yep.

If we were before we are definitely not going to be now...



Next year we're having ham.

Boys think about weird things.

A week or so ago I asked Cooper what his favorite animal was.
"You know what Mom, my favorite animal is a Ti-liger. They's real Mom, for reals"
For reals guys, he saw them on dirty jobs. A Ti-liger is a lion and a tiger mixed (aka a Liger) that then mixes back with a tiger. Equaling a TI- Liger. Only the coolest animal a 5 year old boy could ever dream of. Ask him, he'll tell you all about it.

Do you want to know why they are his favorite?
Something about them killing everything... I can't remember exactly what he said but I remember thinking "that would never be the reason a girl would like something"

I'm remembering this right this minute because mere seconds ago I overheard Kami say
"Guys, lets play puppies."
To which Cooper promptly replied "Okay, but I'm going to be a ti-liger."
Seriously, it's the stuff boy's dreams are made of.

...


Earlier this week we constructed our gingerbread house. The children made a joint decision not to eat any candy off of it until after Santa came (so he could see it, naturally) Before you go and faint from the shock of my children NOT eating the candy off the gingerbread house for x amount of days, please realize that that x stood for 3 days.
Well, Christmas is over and Santa has obviously seen the house already. Which means today was the perfect day for me to field the following question:

"Mom, is it okay if I rip the gingerbread house apart?"

"Um... no Cooper."

"But Mom, I really want to rip it apart so I can see what's inside of it."

...two minutes later...

"Are you sure I can't destroy it? It would be really cool."

Merry Christmas

A copy of this year's Christmas card with much love from our family to yours.

Being There.

I'm not always there for my kids.
In fact, just this morning, I selfishly assumed Brandon was going to pick Cooper up from school.
I was wrong.
I pulled into the empty parking lot to see a little boy all alone at the top of the hill, kicking snow. Where he had been, for seven minutes, with no hat or gloves, waiting for his mom to be there.
I haven't found a feeling more awful.
Yet I was so relieved to see him, I'd been nervous and scared the whole way there just knowing I'd let him down and hoping he was okay, worried that he would be scared...

...


It's been a difficult day for Max.

As a family we've had a rough time with upset stomachs the last couple days. Poor Max can't seem to make heads or tails of it; an owie tummy feels like a hungry tummy which feels like a miserable little guy. To make matters worse, every time he closes his eyes he's woken up by, what I can only assume by his cries, are some pretty painful tummy cramps.

We didn't sleep last night.

We haven't cleaned in days.

And, someone with a little more excitement than common sense, told her husband to bring in all the Christmas bins amidst the stomach flu... (always a smart idea)

When I woke up this morning I found my stomach to be back to normal and my house anything but. I had a list bigger than me and a baby I couldn't put down. And, I hate to admit it, but I really just wanted to put him down.
Just for a couple minutes so I could get something done.

I had arranged to help in Kami's class today. Her teachers had to be at a funeral and so had asked if I wouldn't mind taking full control of the class. We had to be there in 15 minutes and I looked like a woman who had been sick for 2 days. So I put Max in his crib and went in the bathroom to try and make myself look more like a human being than a swamp monster.

I heard him crying and screaming, but he'd been crying and screaming all day. Plus he was mad at me for putting him down... he could deal for a couple minutes.

Then Cooper called out to me from the bedroom,
"uh mom, could you come here?"
(this kid has some pretty nonchalant manners in intense situations, reminds me of my brother Jamison)

Even now I don't know why I actually went to him...

I rounded the corner to see Cooper on the ground. A screw had snapped out of Max's crib and one corner of his mattress had crashed to the ground, turning his mattress into a slide straight into the corner post. Cooper had stuck his hand through the slats and caught Max just before he smashed into the rails. His little hand was all that was holding Max up and Max was dangling head first, scared out of his mind. And for the second time today I was so relieved to see my little Cooper, right where I needed him to be.

He was a super hero for me today, and for Max.

I'm not sure what would have happened had he not been there. Max might not have even gotten hurt. But I'm so grateful I didn't have to find out. I'm grateful, twice, that I didn't have to know what it would be like if he wasn't. If he wasn't there.
I'm so grateful for his little person, being there, right where I needed him.

... and then I did a victory lap!

I walked into the kitchen and had to side step a step stool that had been stacked on a chair and pushed up to the refrigerator.

Common occurrence at my house.
(side note, someone should stop putting all the good stuff on top of the refrigerator. You're not fooling anybody.)

BUT...
When I innocently mentioned it to the boys something amazing happened.
Landon, immediately hopped down from his computer game, and said:

"My got it out, so my get to put it away"
(and then he did!)


...yep. That totally just happened.
(WAAAH! The crowd goes wild!)

Grate: 14

• good friends
• smiles
• reading books to little ones
• mopping the dining room floor
• friends for my children
• piano lessons
• yummy food
• sitting around the table with my family
• time spent cooking with my children
• Landon in a little pink apron
• cookie making
• clean kitchen counters
• husband
  

Grate: 13

• primary (also grateful the program is over.)
• husband
• Landon
• family
• scriptures
• a home cooked meal (especially when I'm the one cooking it.)
• good friends
• talents
• piano
• the gift of tomorrow
  

Grate: 12

I am grateful for my family. Not just my little family that all look like my husband and live with me in this little house (although I am always very most grateful for them.) But for my family that grew up with husband and I in our childhood homes. I am grateful for the values we learned there. I am grateful for the deep constant and consuming love we have for one another.

Sometimes that bond between siblings and parents isn't strong. I am grateful ours is. I love my family so much, and what more, I know every single member of my family (all the additional 9 of them) feels the exact same way. I love Brandon's family so much, as I know he does, and, believe it or not, I know they love us almost as much.

What a blessing to grow up in families that realizes what a blessing family is.

What a blessing to have parents who love each other and who show that love and respect to their children. Who teach the gospel by both word and deed. What a blessing to have a family rooted in service and love. You can't be much more blessed. And to think both Brandon and I grew up in such homes boggles my mind.

SO MANY BLESSINGS for two little people.

Grate: 11

• parents
• my country
• my freedoms
• brothers
• grandparents
• prayers of gratitude
• health
• muscles
• my body and the amazing blessing it is and all the things it can do
• my family's health and safety
• paint samples!!!
• laundry
• Christmas lights

As I said my prayers I fell asleep counting my blessings. The things that stuck out to me the most:
I am grateful I can feed my children. I'm grateful that even when the bank account is low there is food in the pantry, blankets for their beds, coats on their backs, and a roof over their heads.

What an immense blessing that is.

And how humbling it is to think on these blessings. They are of the most basic manner and so the most often forgotten for me. There is nothing in this world that means more to me than this family I have. To be able to provide for their most basic needs, to know that my children aren't going hungry or cold, and that they have a comfortable home to come home to, it is, in itself, such a powerful blessing.

Grate:10

• my brother's "surprise" visit. ;)
• good books
• community
• dinner
• library day with the boys
• my suburban started
• productivity
• new keyboard (so my computer works now!)
• my brothers in general
• family
  

Grate: 9

• a dishwasher
• prayer
• children
• early morning workouts
• baby Max
• family
• Uncle Clinton
• lava hot springs, McDonalds, and Costa Vida (family had a fun post-harvest trip)
• a clean house
• Christmas music
  

Grate: 8

• husband man and his patience, compassion, conviction, and love
• the look in my man's eyes when he looks at our children
• minor furniture adjustments
• good friends
• good books
• cute boys to distract me
• Kami's crayon pictures (today she drew one of Candace from Phineas and Ferb. She even narrated it "What was that? Are they up to something? They are busted. They are so busted." Phineas and Ferb made a water slide in the back yard FYI)
• having patience again
• service
• my primary calling
• one on one time with Landon
• the smell of fresh cut grass on a crisp fall afternoon
• hubby's work ethic
• extended family
• life
• music
• Cooper's excitement about the small things
• a warm bath with a good book
• rootbeer
• gratitude (makes for a fantastic day/week/month)
• the amazing girls I get to have in my home every week for piano lessons
• cleanliness
• warm blankets
  

Grate: 7

Today on pinterest I found this picture of a saying. First of all, I'm going to make one for my Thanksgiving decor. Secondly, and most importantly: How true is this?!
True story: Just days ago I sat at Brandon's laptop typing my "Grate:1" list. I was scanning the room and my brain for things I was grateful for that day. They just kept coming, more and more, over and over, things I was grateful for. As I was listing my blessings Landon came up to talk to me. Same kid I've had all day, speaking in the same voice I'd been listening to all day. However, this time I listened to him while looking for things to be grateful for and, surprise, I ended up being grateful for him.
Now, I am always grateful for Landon, but it brought me so much joy to remember why. I was so very grateful for all his little nuances. Grateful for his size, his voice, his personality. Then I started noticing Cooper sitting on the floor next to me and I listened to his little voice, his imagination, his interactions with his sister... this process kept going with each child, each and every thing I saw, every thing I thought of.
There is so much joy in counting your blessing. Each blessing is like a little "I love you" note and as my blessings kept tallying up I couldn't help but say to myself "My life rocks!"
The Lord has blessed us with so much. It is phenominal to me, this process of counting (remembering) blessings. Life is good. There are a million reasons to be happy. If you don't believe me, start counting (remembering) your blessings.

• husband is done with harvest!! (so fantastic to have him home)
• a casual day out with hubby
• jimmy johns
• healthy kiddos
• snortable flu "shots"
• paying off debt
• family workout time
• sore muscles - such a fantastic (and painful) feeling
  
• NAPTIME
• my husband: so caring
• daughter
• paying children quarters to clean the kitchen
• food network magazine
• my dad
• a beautiful paint job on my house
• daughter's ballerina bun
• bath time
• general conference
• fantastic neighbors
• piano lessons
• public library
• new windshield wipers
• family time
• motivation
• sense of accomplishment
• coats
• brothers
• thanksgiving
• a helpmate
• having an infant in our home
• bookclub
• my children
• lds.org
  

After the kids did my Jillian Micheals workout video with me, we read scriptures and headed to bed. I spent some time in their room reading stories and helping Cooper with his letters. We are reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz for bookclub. After finishing the first chapter we sat on the floor (past our bedtime) and colored pictures of what we had just read.
Now I sit here typing this blog post and Max is sprawled across my lap with his hands behind his head sound asleep.

This.
This is what I am grateful for.
Family.
What a blessing it is to be surrounded by those I love so dearly and to be reminded, through them, of how much my Father in Heaven loves me and the beautiful, comforting, fantastic, joy filled plan He has for us, His children.
God is SO GOOD.

Grate: 6

• daylight savings time (extra hour = boo-yeah!)
• ward family
• choir
• primary kids
• mohawks (faux-hawks)
• friends
• cute little girl's curly hair
• husband
• Max's fan base
• a comfy bed
• sore muscles
• talents
• soup weather
• heater
• skype
• being surrounded by cute boys
  
• family
• technology
• free kindle for the iphone
• free books for the kindle
• education
• motherhood
• my small people
• striped curtains
• mexican food
• traditions
• dear friends that feel like family
• ben and jerry's ice cream
• messy ice cream faces
• cuddling blankets
• scripture stories
  
• creativity
• family time
• a month to count my blessings

Today while getting ready for church I overheard Cooper helping a distressed Landon get his shoes and socks on. "See bud, it's not that hard. It's okay. You can do this." I am grateful for that moment. Watching my kids show love to each other is one of the happiest moments of my day. What a blessing!

Grate: 5

• harvest completion!!!
• husband
• kids that like each other
• Saturday jobs
• project completion
• clean clothes
• house and home
• bodies
• workouts
• mommy daughter time
• book club
• friends
• crockpots
  

Grate: 4

Today, and everyday, and always, I am grateful for my husband and my best friend (they're the same person, naturally)

Grate: 3

• holidays
• husband. ALWAYS grateful for husband
• family
• inspiration
• creativity
• project completion
• Christmas music
• leaf piles
• being friends with Landon
  
• elmer fudd hats
• giggles
• morning exercise so I don't have to do it at night :)
  
• fantastic neighbors
• my beautiful daughter
• our community
• baby's long nap
• bedtime
• accomplishment

And, odd as it sounds, I'm grateful I picked up my messes so I don't have to wake up to them tomorrow.

flushed

me. "Mommy has to go potty."

landon. "my gonna come with you. my gonna make sure you don't fall in. that would be sad. then we wouldn't have a mommy. there would just be a daddy and kids...
but maybe gwen would come over and flush the potty and get you out...
but maybe not."


later that day

landon. "my just need to come with you when you go potty to make sure you don't fall in. also, you can't poop in your underwear. my need to make sure you don't that."

Grate: 2

My brother is
home from the Ukraine!!!

Grate: 1

• harvest pizza parties
• piano lessons (love those kids to pieces)
• paydays
• powerade monies
• scrunchy man grins
• max and his wonder eyes
• patience
• my kids
• husband
• my dad: and his phone calls to say he is thinking about me (he does it all the time and it makes me happy)
  
• my friendship with my sister
• an easy/quick dinner of mac and cheese and ramen noodles
• cute kids in cute Halloween costumes
• motivation
• November
• remembering that I don't really hate my dog, I actually like him
• husband (can't say it or think it enough)
• dishwasher
• inspiration
• the YW who heart-attacked us and brought us cookies
• a home
• new friends
• flannel sheets
• motherhood
• family
  
• the sound of Cooper writing his letters (curl down, kick your toe, start at the top...)
• Landon and his everything. The intelligent way he forms a sentence, his grammar, his explanations...
• the friendship amongst my children
• prayer
• my brother Jamison (miss his gentle presence in our home)
  

This.
I am grateful for this.

One might get the impression you're not a fan...

Max is wearing army green fatigues today, so it makes perfect sense to be feeding him green beans.
He, however, is not understanding the logic.
As I manipulate bite after bite into his mouth (he's at 3 bites now) he musters this compliant grin-ace (it's a mixture between a grimace and a grin) and, interpreting what I see in his eyes, he is saying
"dis is gross. dis is so gross."
But as a perfect gentleman he keeps a forced smile plastered to his little face.
He's trying his hardest to disguise his gags but it is just not happening. I keep witnessing these micro-gags as he is obviously mumbling to himself "keep it down man, keep it down."
Bless his little missionary soul (as it is obvious this little boy is honing in on his mission serving skills: gag down inedible food is missionary 101)

Sometimes I am able to catch him off guard and, since he is in the habit of putting things in his mouth, I am able to sneak a bite in. His expression... priceless... let's imagine the scrunchy "spit it out!" face in combination with the "oh crap, I'm going to gag!" face.
So precious.

So you all are thinking "Good heavens woman, feed him something besides green beans!" As if green beans are gag worthy. But here is the catch: it's not just green beans. Pretty much if it's not mom made it's not whetting his appetite.
The first time I fed him rice cereal he made it 2 bites with the "keep it down man" mentality and the he succumbed to his rebelling stomach muscles, gagged through the following bite, and then promptly threw up all over his bumbo... it was rough.
There have been only two other times I have managed to get more than 3 bites of rice cereal into his tortured little body.
He was so sick he projectile vomited for 15 minutes straight.
Both times.
I kid you not.
We don't force him to eat rice cereal anymore. (nobody's that cruel. Plus, with that violent of a reaction both times I worry he has an allergy)

Which brings us full circle... green beans. Not a super big fan... but so far no projectile vomit.
Hang in there kid, in 6 months I'll make you edible food.

Locked Up

Sometimes your children choose not to be stellar members of society.

Say by biting each other.

Or punching each other in the face.

It happens sometimes.

Perhaps they choose to throw mop water and then it ends up all over your couch.

Minor infraction right?

Just like all the door slamming, fighting, screaming, and pestering.

But say things escalate to waking the baby
(who is ill, by the way, and in a very unstable state).

or fighting over the computer chair and breaking the space bar on your keyboard.

Heaven forbid they start rolling around in poop, or throwing up on the floor, or chasing an innocent child down the street yelling obscenities at her... oh wait, those were the dog.

So at what point in an afternoon do they graduate from "less than stellar" to "menace to society".

Because, I'm just saying, at this point someone's got to get locked up.

But, all hilarity and wit aside, at this point Kameryn is screaming and crying from her bed because her brother threw a toy at her face. Landon is crying in his bed because he backtalked his mother and then hit her several times. And Cooper is in my bed screaming "I DON'T LOVE YOU MOM! I DO NOT LOVE YOU!" because he got put to bed with a threat of no dinner for multiple infractions that ended badly when he threw a toy at his sister's face. Oh... and I've got a dog, crying from his kennel, where he was locked after he chased that poor little girl down the street.
I'm sitting here, with 2 hours of sleep to my name, holding a baby who has not stopped crying once today. Not once.
Strangely enough, I would like nothing better than to be screaming and crying from my bed right along with the lot of them.
I do not love this day.

Everything Nice

I love my boys.

All that dirt, chaos, aggression, imagination, and go big or go home mentality can really charm a girl. Not to mention those grins. I die.

But heaven bless that I please have more angel children like my sweet Kami girl.

She is relentlessly obedient. Fearfully beautiful. Tirelessly patient and kind. Continually giving. Intelligent and creative. And just phenomenal as all get up.
(is it "get up" or "get out"? I never know.)

Kami, my happy started with you and continues with you.
I love you so much my insides feel completely explosive.

I wish you would stay little but I am marveled to see you grow.
You are one of my dearest and most inspiring friends. And you remind me every day of the virtues God has blessed women with.

I wish I remembered every day to take you in my arms and tell you how special you are to me. I'd remind you of how beautiful and amazing you are. I would spend more of my day doing my very best to help you become the girl you dream of being.

I love you Kameryn Grace.
So very, very, terribly much.

Today, as only a daughter can, Kami helped me in more ways than she knows. I was in a super grumpy funk and in a messy house surrounded by monster men. I knew I needed to clean and I knew I needed to loose the funk. I told each child to draw a chore and I'd help. Kami drew the bathroom. She then proceeded to clean the bathroom, the porch, and the family room. Mop the entry floor, vacuum the rug, vacuum the family room, mop the dining room, mop the kitchen floor, and haul all the dirty clothes to the washroom.
I kept cleaning because she kept cleaning.
I know it sounds silly, but it's exactly what I needed today.
She was exactly what I needed today.
Sure grateful for this girl of mine.

Score a point for hardwood floors

When you rip out your nasty carpet and expose your "hardwood" floors you open up a whole world of possibilities.
For example, you can now use your living room as a skating rink.

My mom never let me do this... My skate skills must not have been as fine honed as Cooper's are.

I suppose it helps if the skates are your size...

Because you look weird if you update your facebook status 4 times in 10 minutes...

Last night while throwing a frisbee around in the front yard, Kami approaches Brandon:

"How come you never tell me I throw good?"
"You throw great!"
"No I don't. I can't even throw it."


First thing this morning Landon starts dancing around the kitchen:

"Mom, I have to go potty. I'm just going to pee outside?"
"Nope"
"Why not!"
"We have a toilet."
"mmmmgh!" (I'm such a dream crusher)


Kami's got the bug this morning, so she's not going to school. Cooper doesn't understand what the big deal is:

"Kami, it's okay if you're sick at school. There's a garbage can and you can just throw up in there."

and, as Kami was explaining her decision to stay home:

"I just feel dizzy..."
to which Cooper calls out:
"So, I feel dizzy too."
"That's because you're spinning in circles."

Healthy Food is Good, But Candy Will Make You Rich!

Brandon and I died laughing.

You have got to watch this.
(Episode #5 is funny too)

Happiness is This Face

Way Worse

I heard a noise.

It was throw up.

More importantly, it was mobile throw up.

As in, one little child woke up in the middle of the night, started throwing up, panicked, got out of bed, and began the whimpering, stumbling, hands over your mouth throw up train to my bedroom.

Throw up train is among my top 10 favorite ways to be woken up.

Fortunately for me, Max woke up to be fed at the exact moment Landon woke up to... you know. (there are only so many times I can say the act before I start feeling like participating... we've reached that quota)

So, I turned to Brandon and calmly said "I think he's puking" at which point Brandon bolted out of bed, flipped on the light and stuck his hands out under the sick child's mouth. (My Dad used to do that too.)
That's a real man.
(that's also gross)

He, the husband man, then proceeded to help the sick one to the toilet, mop the floor, change the bedding, make a new bed for the child next to the bathroom door, and febreeze the mattress.

I stayed in bed and fed the baby.

I did however offer my condolences to the sick child.

I called him to my bedside and reached my hand out to him.

He found my efforts very comforting and grasped my hand to express his gratitude for my motherly kindness.

Now I am not complaining because my contribution was indeed small.

But


Remember the "high five story" Hit or Miss... the one about the hand covered in nacho cheese Doritos (and stuff)...



WAY WORSE.

Also, sadness, Landon proceeded to throw up the entire night,
and every time husband man was on duty.
Poor boys are both not feeling top notch today
so wish them a quick and speedy, puke free recovery.

Kermit

Due to my intense need to take a nap, Brandon took along 3 tag-a-longs to harvest this afternoon. When they returned home they brought gifts:
A rootbeer
Dill pickle sunflower seeds
and
FROGS!


I have never seen happier kids.

Apparently a whole slew of frogs are living underneath the scale out at the beet dump.

Meet Softy (Kameryn's frog) Fastest (Cooper's frog) and Rainbow (Landon's frog)
There are only 2 frogs pictured above. Rainbow at the top of the photo and either Fastest or Softy below.

Landon's frog is the really big one. Kami and Cooper's frogs look identical to me but Kami insists that one of the frogs with brown eyes has green eyes and the other frog with brown eyes has blue eyes. That's how you tell them apart.

The kids are outside bug hunting.
Cooper just came running in as I typed this with his rollie-pollie he collected yesterday
(his very best pet that he loved so much) and asked

"Mom, can frogs eat rollie-pollies?"

You got to be careful with that kid. One minute you're his friend, the next second you are lunch for his new friend. Scary life for a bug.

Hit or Miss

Landon was potty trained.

Once upon a time.

I suppose life's fascinations caught up with him, and tedious things, like the proper disposal of one's waste, were no longer thrilling enough to employ his full attention or effort.

Little by little we saw our hopes for his bladder control fizzle into a puddle of ... well, we will leave this sentence as is.

It started with a little dance here, a "Landon, go the the bathroom." there, and so on. Casual reminders that we thought were frustrating at the time are now a fond and distant memory. In the middle of the night, we used to hear little feet padding down the hall into the bathroom. We would hear the same little feet doing a nervous quick step in front of the toilet. We'd listen, anxiously awaiting the sure sound of liquid hitting liquid. It was a rare commodity...
Even still, we miss those sounds.

Now we watch his little body squirm.

He dances around the house twisting and turning, bouncing and wiggling everywhere he goes.
We scream "GO TO THE BATHROOM!": He casually responds "My not need to."
We beg, "Please go to the bathroom.": He looks at us as if we speak pig latin
We bribe, we threaten, we demand: He ignores, he shrugs, he screams "MY NOT NEED TO!"

His soaked underwear begs to differ.

We no longer hear little feet in the night. We hear a washing machine in the morning... washing bedding, and pajamas. Every morning.
Last night Brandon was excited to hear him wake up, his little feet padding down the hall to the bathroom. Then he was confused when he heard those same little feet turn around and run in circles back to his bedroom. Upon investigation he found him peeing... on his bedroom floor... Not quite the end result we were hoping for.

He must have somehow or other made it back into the bathroom that night for a second go at it, as was evident by his unique graffiti art on the walls and floors surrounding the toilet.

This afternoon, after noticing his damp britches and wafting fumes, I decided to take matters into my own hands. When I saw him crouching and bopping, I took hold of his little hand and told him I was taking him to the bathroom.

"Why you walkin' me?" he asked on the quick jaunt to the potty.

"So I can make sure you go." I responded.

We entered the bathroom where he was immediately distracted by some bright shiny object.
"Pee" I said to him calmly.
At which he did (not paying attention to the stream, mind you.)

When he was almost done he turned from the fizzle streaming down the toilet seat and offered me his up held palm.

I glanced down at his hand, bright orange from his recent snack of nacho cheese Doritos. It was about the time I realized the distinct moistness on his fingertips that I also realized he was holding his hand up for a reason.

"Yay Mommy! My did it!"

There are some instances where, despite your better judgment, it would be rude to deny the high five.

"Good job son."

And so, to make sure he knew I was fully committed to his success, I gave him his high five.
(Then I washed my hands. Boys are gross.)

Side note: I'm thinking I'm going to teach my son the celebratory act that is the chest bump.
Although controversial for a mother and son,
you just never know when it might come in handy.

My Wise One

I get excited every time Cooper opens his mouth. Whatever he says is always bound to be a gem. He has such an imagination and at times seems far wiser then his time. Plus, there is always the added benefit of hearing him say whatever it is he says with his unique Cooper personality; the way he tilts his head, his matter of fact tone, and top it all off with his facial expressions: always a winning combination.

Here are two quick stories:

Last Sunday I couldn't get my dress zipped up.
I asked Kami for her help.
She tried and tried but couldn't get it. Being much like me in nature and not wanting to hurt my feelings she said "Maybe you should ask Cooper. He's stronger than me."

Cooper came in and after two failed attempts he said to me
"You're probably too fat for this dress."
And then he walked away.

He is my wise one.

That's what I like about Cooper, he calls it as he sees it and when he knows something he knows it with all his heart.

Story #2 (Let me preface this with the obvious: mothering is not my strong suit right now. Seems like nothing is.)

I had asked Cooper to get me a diaper for Max.
"What?" he asked
I raised me voice: "GET ME A DIAPER!"
"I could heard you say it nice." he responded as he hopped off the couch
"Could you say sorry?" he asked as he walked to the bedroom
"Sorry" I inquisitively said
"I could heard you say it nice. I have good listening ears. You only need to say it nice."

I'm sorry Cooper. You're right. I only need to say it nice. Thank you for teaching me, again.

See? He is my wise one.

Punchy Monster Syndrome

When Brandon woke me up this morning I hurled my pillow across the room at the closet doors.

Good Morning Sunshine!

I probably didn't wake up eager to greet the day.

Now, I'm a pretty smart cookie and I know that if you wake up bound and determined to have a no good very bad awful grouchy day then you will have a no good very bad awful grouchy day.
But can I be honest and say that every time that chipper little positive girl in my head said "find the good, choose to be happy" I felt like screaming at her and saying "I haven't slept in six days! All I want to do is climb back in bed! I'm tired! I'm frustrated! My house is a mess! I have piano lessons coming! My husband is in harvest! My baby is, not only sick for the 12th day in a row, but has broken out in a rash! My Landon is ... a Landon! and if you so much as make one more perky comment to me I am going to punch you in the nose!"

You think this might be what PMS (punchy monster syndrome) sounds like?

By noon my all consuming thought was to crawl into a large vat of pretzel caramel ice cream sundae and shovel bite after bite into my face and then pass out in a pile of sticky meltedness...
and I don't even like ice cream.

I was in a dark place.

And really, I would have never gotten to this dark place if life would have just let me stay in my preferred dark place: MY BED.

In an effort to be grateful for my blessings and avoid punching perky positive people. (brought to you by the letter P) I wanted to accumulate a list of today's "day makers". In doing so I give in to the chipper little girl in my head and concede, there is far more good in my life than bad, and dang it, I need to choose to be happy. And I will, once I get back in bed.

Today's Day Makers:

• my free chocolate chip cookie from subway
• paying the girl 50c to clean the bathroom (I would have done it for no less than $2)
• the scrunchy man grin Max gave me when he realized I was about to feed him.
• playing chutes and ladders with Cooper (he cheats BTW)
  
• my man is his bright orange safety vest (such a sight for sore eyes.)
• 6 of my 8 piano lessons for the day canceling (I know, I lost money, but on a day like today it's for the best.)
  

And the all-time best day maker:

• Landon mooning my piano student (and me... and the car driving by... and practically the whole neighborhood) in an effort to pee outside.

I dare say even Oscar the Grouch would have cracked a smile seeing his little naked bum scurry across the front yard in an effort to not be seen.

Cracked!
Get it?
Even in my most grumpy state
I still manage to be ridiculously witty
... some things never change.

side note: Doesn't this make you want to take piano lessons from me? I offer perks few piano teachers would even dream off. It's an experience you'll not soon forget.



Here's to an ice cream sundae, cuddling with my best friend, and a 7 o'clock bed time.

Facebook {July - Sept }

July:
Today, at McDonalds, Cooper ate 11 chicken nuggets. It must be because he's 5 now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my Cooper man! _ "Mom, it was totally freakin' me out! ... It was scaring my crap out of me." - Cooper _ "Sharing with ants is good. They won't bite you if you share your food with them." - Cooper. His logic was too cute to argue with. _ Painting my house. It's happening. For reals. Right this minute!! _ Max laughed for the first time today. He's a snorter.

August:
My son just peed in his own ear. Apparently that is one of the perks of being a boy. _ I just had to tell my son Cooper that using his aunt's sonicare toothbrush to brush his bum crack was a bad idea. He's having a hard time realizing that time out was justified. _ "I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way." Quote I found that might as well be my middle name. _ "Cooper, set it down nicely." "So do you want me to drop it or throw it like this?" Apparently there is a language barrier... _ Pinterest!!! AAGH! So much love. _ 3 days of a sick baby makes for a very tired mommy in a very messy house. _ "Kami, call me 'Master Brother" - Cooper. _"Cooper, thank you so much. You are being such a good helper today." "I know, it's because I want you to give me something." - Crap! So much for raising helpful and responsible children... _ Max is a cuddler. I love nothing more. _ "It's okay Mom, I was just getting this spoon nice and cold for you by eating the cookie dough in the freezer"... "See, now there's not too much cookie dough in the bag." - Cooper. He's such a helper. _ If eating bread and butter pickles for breakfast isn't normal, I'm not sure normal is a state I wish to attend. _ This morning we were assigning out Saturday jobs, Cooper says, "I know, maybe I should do nothing!" Capital idea. _ "Are you crying or just sweating through your eyes?" -Kami "Sweating through your eyes?" You kill me kid! _ 8 years: best of my life! Happy Anniversary to my best friend Brandon Bowen. You are even more amazing than I could have ever hoped for. _ Holy crap Foodgawker.com!!! Pretty much kill me now! _ Today in a fit of rage Landon screamed out: "Mom! You are not allowed to do the dishes! Doing the dishes is bad for you." Now that's a statement I can get behind. _ Who ever decided to have the kids start their school schedule a week early so they wouldn't be tired and grumpy for their teachers definitely didn't have MY best interest at heart.

September: (first half)
Kami says that when her friend lost a tooth the tooth fairy gave her a Walmart gift card... let's just make a pact as parents that that kind of behavior from the tooth fairy is unacceptable. I can't be meeting unrealistic expectations. (Husband says the study recently done on the tooth fairy has her leaving $10 a tooth... not at this house.) _ son cracked an egg on my phone this morning... remarkably it won't let me answer calls... go figure. _ "My will look cute in that. My will huh Mom?" Not even a question, Landon Bowen always looks cute. _ Caught the son double-fisting the macaroni at lunch. He must have been a fan _ So much love for my angel baby Max. He is so patient with his mommy. _ Baby = bad fever. Momma = not a fan. :( _ Cooper's got some pretty awesome descriptive words these days. My favorites of the day: "baby-coon" (swaddled baby... like a cocoon) and "chuggy" (Used in a sentence "Max you've got some chuggy legs" ... as in chunky or chubby)




Pictures Posted on Facebook:

Yep, THAT toothbrush... August 3rd


Cooper and Max August 25

Kami pulled off her fingernail. Anyone who knows the drama behind it, be sure to send her your supreme congratulations for being so brave ;) Sept 1


Fun last day of summer at outer limits. Sept 5

"Landon you need to take a bath." "no my don't, my not stinky!" Sept 7

In 5

First week of school 2011

toothless (two in a week!). soccer. growing up. wants a friend. brave


excited. soccer. backpack everywhere. kindergarten. ecstatic


challenging. painted couch (and rug). egg cracker. spirited. intelligent.


thrush. sad. talkative. cuddly. patient

stinky. wants attention. obedient. inquisitive. fat.



meetings. gimpy ankle. more meetings. busy. funny as all get-up.



exhausted. overwhelmed. behind. emotional. lonely. (...and thrush)

So, in a nut shell, our family is:

scheduling.
busy.
tired.
excited.
learning.

Daddy's Got the Day Off

Not the most high quality photos

(it's my phone's camera, in my dim bedroom, and everyone is having way too much fun for me to keep up.)



But it is definitely the most high quality moment.



I love these people of mine.

My most favorite picture:



My people are the best.



I don't love anyone more.