{Memory Monday}

Okay, I know its Thursday...I have a good excuse. Just kidding, I don't. My blog stalker "friend" (the lady I blog stalk, but she says its okay) didn't post a {memory monday} for this week so I had to go searching. While on sugardoodle I came across a "life in a jar" they had linked to their page. I have included it here in case anyone else wants to do this (Mom, Grandma Mere). Anyway, here is the question for today:

What are you frightened of? Why?:

Most people already know this, but oh well. I'm not really writing this for most people. Honestly, I don't really have much that I am frightened by. I'm okay with snakes and bugs, mice (I don't like mouse traps though), heights...you know, the typically phobias. I am a bit concerned by bees and wasps. I don't so much like them. I think that comes in part from being allergic to them. However, I am not so sure I am allergic to them. I don't seem to swell up beyond recognition or ...die, so I'm pretty sure I'm not allergic. I think I just freaked myself out about it as a child. Now, back from that tangent.
The one phobia I definitely have is: I am afraid of the dark, dreadfully afraid. I'm not exactly sure how long I've been afraid of the dark, but I know it's been at least 10 years. I remember back in high school my best friend, John Wheeler, used to sing this song to me that went "Brittany's afraid of darkness. I mean, she sleeps in it but still, she's afraid of darkness..." (It's adapted from a song from Songs for a New World. In other words, it's a show tune)
You would think as I got older it would get better. I think it got worse. I remember the biggest fight Brandon and I ever had was over getting Kameryn to sleep in her own bed. I had a hard time (to put it lightly) over putting her in her own room. I was hysterical that she was afraid of the dark and that was why she kept waking up. Yeah, hysterical. Truth was, I was afraid of the dark, and I was afraid to walk down the hall to her room in the dark, and then sit in the dark in her room, all alone, while I fed her. Hysterical.
I think I am afraid of the dark because I am afraid of what could be hiding in the dark. We had to ban CSI in our household when I was nursing Kameryn because I would get in her dark room and floods of scenes and scenarios would race through my head as I fed my daughter. Not fun. (Maybe my real fear of the dark stems from my overactive imagination...)
Now, just one more example to share how irrational and totally out of control my fear is. I am afraid to play hide and go seek. It scares the pants off me. I'm okay to hide...sometimes, as long as it's not dark. But I hate to go seek! Hate, hate, hate it! Even in my own house. I am afraid of the things lurking in the shadows. (Mindful, those "things" are my family members) I just hate it. Scares the bejeebes out of me. Ugh!
Randomly, do you remember playing night games? The thought of it makes me want to cry. Talk about REALLY scary. Oh, it's the worst. Especially hide and go seek as a night game. Could it get any more torturous? Yeah... I usually thought of an excuse when people wanted to play night games.