The Battle of the Bed

It was nap time and we were struggling.

Really struggling.

Such as: We're at my parents and I'm doing this parenting thing by my lonesome, we're all ridiculously sleep deprived and locked in a little bedroom in the corner of the house (so as to better corral the children).

I've got one child crying uncontrollably, one child playing gymnastics off his brother's portacrib, another flinging mardi gras beads around his head like a helicopter, and yet another child (whoa, this four kid thing gets intense) doing unmentionable things to the inside of his diaper.

It was rough.

We're talking: "jump out of the window screaming your head off" rough.

In complete desperation I did the only thing one does in such situations: I bribed my children...

(I know the better moms out there never bribe their children and their children simply obey all the time; out of love and compassion for their mother. My children, unfortunately, left their love and compassion for me in Idaho... and it's been dire.)

Bribing a Bowen is most effectively done with candy, and so that was what I offered:

candy to the first Bowen asleep.

Within seconds all "uncontrollable" crying (you know, the crying the child swears up and down isn't voluntary and they have no power over controlling it) had stopped and the room was still.

The monkey child was snug in his bed with his arms pressed firmly to his side, eyes squinted closed, and still as a marble statue.

He was going to win that candy.

Kameryn was trying her best but could sense the air dripping with Landon's determination to win.

"Mom, I really want to fall asleep first but I'm afraid Landon is going to win me."

I tried to console her while keeping her competitive spirit alive:

"Kami, just keep trying your hardest. You're okay, Landon isn't asleep yet."

"Yes my is."

The cold hard truth stated calmly and confidently from the man himself.

You know, on days like today, when being a mother is unbearbly difficult I find these snid bits of "snort to yourself" laughter a balm to my weary soul. Regardless of how much I hate "this" (the fighting, the frustration, the disobedience, the exhaustion, the inadequacies...) I really do love my job. And I am grateful for a little boy who reminded me of how fantastic it is just by being his quirky little self. I surely needed the reminder.

Landon later went on to win the battle of the bed, with Kameryn snoring quickly on his heels. Even the baby showed true grit and determination.

In the end, there were only two left standing: the exhausted mother and the boy,

who finds it physically impossible to nap.

EVER.

Tastes Like Chicken

Dinner conversation:

"Mom, these green beans look like worms." - C

"Yeah, kind of. But I think they look more like snakes because they're green." - M

"Mmm... My like these snakes better than last time." - L

"You've eaten snakes before?" - M

"mm-hmm" - L

"Wow." - M

"Mom, snakes taste like chicken." -K

(stated in her best "duh, it's no big deal" voice)

"Really? Who told you that?" - M

"Grandpa Hatch" - K

"One time I ate dirt." - C

As Luck Would Have It...

Somethings have happened this week...
and I've done some thinking...
and I now realize I might have been a little too hasty in posting my "series of unfortunate events" post the other day...
either that, or we've graduated to needing a recurring blog post by the self same title.

Or, better yet, if things continue on their projected path, an entirely new blog in and of itself, updated daily, chronicling the hospital visits of my children.

It could happen.

I feel fairly confident I would have enough material to keep it going for at least the next 16+ years.

Although, I'd probably have to "monetize" my blog. (As in, get paid to do this)

Anyway, I'm not exactly sure if it's just my increased ratio of children to parent or if it's a more complicated equation factoring in things such as sex, age, and height, but, somehow, "exciting" things seem to be happening at a significantly more alarming rate around here.

This week's specialty was blood.

We're usually not so much blood people. We prefer to expel other bodily fluids like puke... or urine... you know, the smelly stuff.
I suppose I wasn't exactly prepped properly.
It didn't help matters when my number one team mate was gone at meetings all week. (Not every day, mind you, just the days that were important. ie the blood days.)

So, let's begin on Tuesday, when hunky man was gone at a grower's meeting, eating beef jerky. Landon, the used to be youngest, somehow had a falling out with the living room sofa. Some things were said, some punches were thrown, and Landon ended up with a bloody nose.

Let's rephrase that: a "holy crap, gushing geyser, Niagara falls bloody nose."

Fun fact about Landon, he's a screamer; a really good, really effective, and really loud screamer. From my perch at the kitchen sink I was fairly certain he had died. He's that effective of a screamer.

But nope, fully alive.

I gave him a smiley faced bandaid to ensure he stayed that way.
(picture taken for his father... not for my maniacal blog fetish)

Today he's a little black and blue (green actually) and still quite a bit swollen. But, no broken nose, which is a plus, because Landon is a looker and I just couldn't bare to think of his exquisite little face marred by a wonky nose.

The story from Landon's perspective
(that I overheard as he was recounting the story to a friend)
"No, my nose got blooded because my was swinging
on the drapes and my hit the couch
and that's how it happened"

Good to know: draperies = bloody noses.

Today was another meeting for hunky man. This time it was a big beet competition. (Hunky man came in second.) While he was eating roast beef, shrimp, mashed potatoes, and other delicious things we were preparing our 5 star lunch fare of mickey mouse chicken nuggets and bottled peaches.

Only, we had to forgo the peaches because the bottle broke...
when it was dropped...
on Kameryn toe.

Fun fact about Kameryn, she's related to Landon. Might have even been his mentor in screaming skills. She's that good. Just ask Cooper. He spent his lunch hour sitting on the kitchen floor rocking back and forth with his fingers in his ears.

Also, I don't think Kameryn likes blood.
I think it freaks her out.
She didn't handle the situation very well.

Granted, she had just had a large section of her big toe sliced open... and a piece of glass that had managed to puncture clean through her toenail... and that was only her right foot. Her left foot fared only marginally better.

So maybe she was justified.

But seriously, poor kid. It took quite a few band aids to get her all patched up.
(once again, picture taken for the benefit of her father)


Hunky man has another meeting tomorrow... wish us luck... and bandaids.

Side note: today I got to use my kitchen tongs to extract half a roll of used toilet paper from the toilet. It's about time things got back to normal.

The Many Faces of Summer

Granted, it's a lot of pictures.
But just go with it.
You'll like it.
I promise

This is probably my favorite quintessential summer face picture.

he's so overweight it's pretty much ridiculous.

Gee, I wonder where my kids get it?
For the record, Landon was coaching Brandon on the proper faces to make for picture taking. And this was the face he said was the best.

Summer faces are only the best if your face is unbelievably dirty.
Otherwise, people won't believe your living life to the fullest.

That's a Clinton Bowen face if I've ever seen one.

Baby is having one of those days...

Some of the faces this girl makes... I just don't know about her.

whew!
You made it!

Doesn't your life feel more complete?


It does, doesn't it?

You're welcome.

(It really was my pleasure...naturally)

Summer Music

Because my brother Kadon is on a kick butt mission in the Ukraine and isn't around to fill me in on all that is new and awesome on the music scene, I have been left to my own devices.
Fortunately for me, I have a little girl who is always in the know when it comes to music. And, another, equally amazing brother, who likes to rub it in when I buy music on itunes because he already has it.
So, to make a long story short, we decided to make a playlist of the songs we are loving listening to this summer. (and that way, Jamison would know exactly what songs to put on our mix tape of epic awesomeness. Because summer is for mix tapes.)
We hope you like them too.

The Fantastic 4... plus the occasional dog.

Cooper and his Max

Landon and Max

LOVE Kami's smile.

Now, let's try for a pic of all 4... plus the occasional dog/sheep:

First try.
Side note, isn't that girl of mine just beautiful? I sure think so.

Try again...
as you can see, they had some sort of hand thing going on. I think Cooper was trying to tell us he was 5 and maybe Kami was showing us 6... and Landon, well you just never know.


As you can tell, evident by their hands pressed snugly by their sides, I had suggested it might be better if we could get a picture of them without their hands in fronts of their faces.

YAY BOWENS!!
As Charlie and Lola would put it, these are my "favorites and my bests"
I just love these faces so much. There's nothing better.




Here's another of Cooper and Max. I can really see the similarities in this one. To complete the mini-me experiment I should have waited until B got home and placed his mug next to them.


My three little boys.
Wow!
I know how ridiculously cheesy this sounds, but I seriously can't look at this picture without tearing up. My heart literally feels like it is going to explode. What fantastic, amazing, beautiful blessings.
God is good.

P.S. Sorry, it's blurry, but as I've mentioned before... not exactly my best skill. I'm better at making phenomenally exquisite children; as is evident by the blurry pictures I have posted.

And one last one for good measure: Landon and his best bud Dexter, the sheep.