Happiness is This Face

Way Worse

I heard a noise.

It was throw up.

More importantly, it was mobile throw up.

As in, one little child woke up in the middle of the night, started throwing up, panicked, got out of bed, and began the whimpering, stumbling, hands over your mouth throw up train to my bedroom.

Throw up train is among my top 10 favorite ways to be woken up.

Fortunately for me, Max woke up to be fed at the exact moment Landon woke up to... you know. (there are only so many times I can say the act before I start feeling like participating... we've reached that quota)

So, I turned to Brandon and calmly said "I think he's puking" at which point Brandon bolted out of bed, flipped on the light and stuck his hands out under the sick child's mouth. (My Dad used to do that too.)
That's a real man.
(that's also gross)

He, the husband man, then proceeded to help the sick one to the toilet, mop the floor, change the bedding, make a new bed for the child next to the bathroom door, and febreeze the mattress.

I stayed in bed and fed the baby.

I did however offer my condolences to the sick child.

I called him to my bedside and reached my hand out to him.

He found my efforts very comforting and grasped my hand to express his gratitude for my motherly kindness.

Now I am not complaining because my contribution was indeed small.

But


Remember the "high five story" Hit or Miss... the one about the hand covered in nacho cheese Doritos (and stuff)...



WAY WORSE.

Also, sadness, Landon proceeded to throw up the entire night,
and every time husband man was on duty.
Poor boys are both not feeling top notch today
so wish them a quick and speedy, puke free recovery.

Kermit

Due to my intense need to take a nap, Brandon took along 3 tag-a-longs to harvest this afternoon. When they returned home they brought gifts:
A rootbeer
Dill pickle sunflower seeds
and
FROGS!


I have never seen happier kids.

Apparently a whole slew of frogs are living underneath the scale out at the beet dump.

Meet Softy (Kameryn's frog) Fastest (Cooper's frog) and Rainbow (Landon's frog)
There are only 2 frogs pictured above. Rainbow at the top of the photo and either Fastest or Softy below.

Landon's frog is the really big one. Kami and Cooper's frogs look identical to me but Kami insists that one of the frogs with brown eyes has green eyes and the other frog with brown eyes has blue eyes. That's how you tell them apart.

The kids are outside bug hunting.
Cooper just came running in as I typed this with his rollie-pollie he collected yesterday
(his very best pet that he loved so much) and asked

"Mom, can frogs eat rollie-pollies?"

You got to be careful with that kid. One minute you're his friend, the next second you are lunch for his new friend. Scary life for a bug.

Hit or Miss

Landon was potty trained.

Once upon a time.

I suppose life's fascinations caught up with him, and tedious things, like the proper disposal of one's waste, were no longer thrilling enough to employ his full attention or effort.

Little by little we saw our hopes for his bladder control fizzle into a puddle of ... well, we will leave this sentence as is.

It started with a little dance here, a "Landon, go the the bathroom." there, and so on. Casual reminders that we thought were frustrating at the time are now a fond and distant memory. In the middle of the night, we used to hear little feet padding down the hall into the bathroom. We would hear the same little feet doing a nervous quick step in front of the toilet. We'd listen, anxiously awaiting the sure sound of liquid hitting liquid. It was a rare commodity...
Even still, we miss those sounds.

Now we watch his little body squirm.

He dances around the house twisting and turning, bouncing and wiggling everywhere he goes.
We scream "GO TO THE BATHROOM!": He casually responds "My not need to."
We beg, "Please go to the bathroom.": He looks at us as if we speak pig latin
We bribe, we threaten, we demand: He ignores, he shrugs, he screams "MY NOT NEED TO!"

His soaked underwear begs to differ.

We no longer hear little feet in the night. We hear a washing machine in the morning... washing bedding, and pajamas. Every morning.
Last night Brandon was excited to hear him wake up, his little feet padding down the hall to the bathroom. Then he was confused when he heard those same little feet turn around and run in circles back to his bedroom. Upon investigation he found him peeing... on his bedroom floor... Not quite the end result we were hoping for.

He must have somehow or other made it back into the bathroom that night for a second go at it, as was evident by his unique graffiti art on the walls and floors surrounding the toilet.

This afternoon, after noticing his damp britches and wafting fumes, I decided to take matters into my own hands. When I saw him crouching and bopping, I took hold of his little hand and told him I was taking him to the bathroom.

"Why you walkin' me?" he asked on the quick jaunt to the potty.

"So I can make sure you go." I responded.

We entered the bathroom where he was immediately distracted by some bright shiny object.
"Pee" I said to him calmly.
At which he did (not paying attention to the stream, mind you.)

When he was almost done he turned from the fizzle streaming down the toilet seat and offered me his up held palm.

I glanced down at his hand, bright orange from his recent snack of nacho cheese Doritos. It was about the time I realized the distinct moistness on his fingertips that I also realized he was holding his hand up for a reason.

"Yay Mommy! My did it!"

There are some instances where, despite your better judgment, it would be rude to deny the high five.

"Good job son."

And so, to make sure he knew I was fully committed to his success, I gave him his high five.
(Then I washed my hands. Boys are gross.)

Side note: I'm thinking I'm going to teach my son the celebratory act that is the chest bump.
Although controversial for a mother and son,
you just never know when it might come in handy.

My Wise One

I get excited every time Cooper opens his mouth. Whatever he says is always bound to be a gem. He has such an imagination and at times seems far wiser then his time. Plus, there is always the added benefit of hearing him say whatever it is he says with his unique Cooper personality; the way he tilts his head, his matter of fact tone, and top it all off with his facial expressions: always a winning combination.

Here are two quick stories:

Last Sunday I couldn't get my dress zipped up.
I asked Kami for her help.
She tried and tried but couldn't get it. Being much like me in nature and not wanting to hurt my feelings she said "Maybe you should ask Cooper. He's stronger than me."

Cooper came in and after two failed attempts he said to me
"You're probably too fat for this dress."
And then he walked away.

He is my wise one.

That's what I like about Cooper, he calls it as he sees it and when he knows something he knows it with all his heart.

Story #2 (Let me preface this with the obvious: mothering is not my strong suit right now. Seems like nothing is.)

I had asked Cooper to get me a diaper for Max.
"What?" he asked
I raised me voice: "GET ME A DIAPER!"
"I could heard you say it nice." he responded as he hopped off the couch
"Could you say sorry?" he asked as he walked to the bedroom
"Sorry" I inquisitively said
"I could heard you say it nice. I have good listening ears. You only need to say it nice."

I'm sorry Cooper. You're right. I only need to say it nice. Thank you for teaching me, again.

See? He is my wise one.

Punchy Monster Syndrome

When Brandon woke me up this morning I hurled my pillow across the room at the closet doors.

Good Morning Sunshine!

I probably didn't wake up eager to greet the day.

Now, I'm a pretty smart cookie and I know that if you wake up bound and determined to have a no good very bad awful grouchy day then you will have a no good very bad awful grouchy day.
But can I be honest and say that every time that chipper little positive girl in my head said "find the good, choose to be happy" I felt like screaming at her and saying "I haven't slept in six days! All I want to do is climb back in bed! I'm tired! I'm frustrated! My house is a mess! I have piano lessons coming! My husband is in harvest! My baby is, not only sick for the 12th day in a row, but has broken out in a rash! My Landon is ... a Landon! and if you so much as make one more perky comment to me I am going to punch you in the nose!"

You think this might be what PMS (punchy monster syndrome) sounds like?

By noon my all consuming thought was to crawl into a large vat of pretzel caramel ice cream sundae and shovel bite after bite into my face and then pass out in a pile of sticky meltedness...
and I don't even like ice cream.

I was in a dark place.

And really, I would have never gotten to this dark place if life would have just let me stay in my preferred dark place: MY BED.

In an effort to be grateful for my blessings and avoid punching perky positive people. (brought to you by the letter P) I wanted to accumulate a list of today's "day makers". In doing so I give in to the chipper little girl in my head and concede, there is far more good in my life than bad, and dang it, I need to choose to be happy. And I will, once I get back in bed.

Today's Day Makers:

• my free chocolate chip cookie from subway
• paying the girl 50c to clean the bathroom (I would have done it for no less than $2)
• the scrunchy man grin Max gave me when he realized I was about to feed him.
• playing chutes and ladders with Cooper (he cheats BTW)
  
• my man is his bright orange safety vest (such a sight for sore eyes.)
• 6 of my 8 piano lessons for the day canceling (I know, I lost money, but on a day like today it's for the best.)
  

And the all-time best day maker:

• Landon mooning my piano student (and me... and the car driving by... and practically the whole neighborhood) in an effort to pee outside.

I dare say even Oscar the Grouch would have cracked a smile seeing his little naked bum scurry across the front yard in an effort to not be seen.

Cracked!
Get it?
Even in my most grumpy state
I still manage to be ridiculously witty
... some things never change.

side note: Doesn't this make you want to take piano lessons from me? I offer perks few piano teachers would even dream off. It's an experience you'll not soon forget.



Here's to an ice cream sundae, cuddling with my best friend, and a 7 o'clock bed time.

Facebook {July - Sept }

July:
Today, at McDonalds, Cooper ate 11 chicken nuggets. It must be because he's 5 now. HAPPY BIRTHDAY my Cooper man! _ "Mom, it was totally freakin' me out! ... It was scaring my crap out of me." - Cooper _ "Sharing with ants is good. They won't bite you if you share your food with them." - Cooper. His logic was too cute to argue with. _ Painting my house. It's happening. For reals. Right this minute!! _ Max laughed for the first time today. He's a snorter.

August:
My son just peed in his own ear. Apparently that is one of the perks of being a boy. _ I just had to tell my son Cooper that using his aunt's sonicare toothbrush to brush his bum crack was a bad idea. He's having a hard time realizing that time out was justified. _ "I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way." Quote I found that might as well be my middle name. _ "Cooper, set it down nicely." "So do you want me to drop it or throw it like this?" Apparently there is a language barrier... _ Pinterest!!! AAGH! So much love. _ 3 days of a sick baby makes for a very tired mommy in a very messy house. _ "Kami, call me 'Master Brother" - Cooper. _"Cooper, thank you so much. You are being such a good helper today." "I know, it's because I want you to give me something." - Crap! So much for raising helpful and responsible children... _ Max is a cuddler. I love nothing more. _ "It's okay Mom, I was just getting this spoon nice and cold for you by eating the cookie dough in the freezer"... "See, now there's not too much cookie dough in the bag." - Cooper. He's such a helper. _ If eating bread and butter pickles for breakfast isn't normal, I'm not sure normal is a state I wish to attend. _ This morning we were assigning out Saturday jobs, Cooper says, "I know, maybe I should do nothing!" Capital idea. _ "Are you crying or just sweating through your eyes?" -Kami "Sweating through your eyes?" You kill me kid! _ 8 years: best of my life! Happy Anniversary to my best friend Brandon Bowen. You are even more amazing than I could have ever hoped for. _ Holy crap Foodgawker.com!!! Pretty much kill me now! _ Today in a fit of rage Landon screamed out: "Mom! You are not allowed to do the dishes! Doing the dishes is bad for you." Now that's a statement I can get behind. _ Who ever decided to have the kids start their school schedule a week early so they wouldn't be tired and grumpy for their teachers definitely didn't have MY best interest at heart.

September: (first half)
Kami says that when her friend lost a tooth the tooth fairy gave her a Walmart gift card... let's just make a pact as parents that that kind of behavior from the tooth fairy is unacceptable. I can't be meeting unrealistic expectations. (Husband says the study recently done on the tooth fairy has her leaving $10 a tooth... not at this house.) _ son cracked an egg on my phone this morning... remarkably it won't let me answer calls... go figure. _ "My will look cute in that. My will huh Mom?" Not even a question, Landon Bowen always looks cute. _ Caught the son double-fisting the macaroni at lunch. He must have been a fan _ So much love for my angel baby Max. He is so patient with his mommy. _ Baby = bad fever. Momma = not a fan. :( _ Cooper's got some pretty awesome descriptive words these days. My favorites of the day: "baby-coon" (swaddled baby... like a cocoon) and "chuggy" (Used in a sentence "Max you've got some chuggy legs" ... as in chunky or chubby)




Pictures Posted on Facebook:

Yep, THAT toothbrush... August 3rd


Cooper and Max August 25

Kami pulled off her fingernail. Anyone who knows the drama behind it, be sure to send her your supreme congratulations for being so brave ;) Sept 1


Fun last day of summer at outer limits. Sept 5

"Landon you need to take a bath." "no my don't, my not stinky!" Sept 7

In 5

First week of school 2011

toothless (two in a week!). soccer. growing up. wants a friend. brave


excited. soccer. backpack everywhere. kindergarten. ecstatic


challenging. painted couch (and rug). egg cracker. spirited. intelligent.


thrush. sad. talkative. cuddly. patient

stinky. wants attention. obedient. inquisitive. fat.



meetings. gimpy ankle. more meetings. busy. funny as all get-up.



exhausted. overwhelmed. behind. emotional. lonely. (...and thrush)

So, in a nut shell, our family is:

scheduling.
busy.
tired.
excited.
learning.

Daddy's Got the Day Off

Not the most high quality photos

(it's my phone's camera, in my dim bedroom, and everyone is having way too much fun for me to keep up.)



But it is definitely the most high quality moment.



I love these people of mine.

My most favorite picture:



My people are the best.



I don't love anyone more.