I had this delusional idea that I updated my blog more frequently... I mean I wasn't totally delusional and I knew posts had been few and far between. But still. Apparently a long time ago I used to post my facebook status'. And by long time I'm talking back in Sept. of 2011... yeah I had no idea. When I looked at my 2012 posts I realized I had only posted about 20 times the entire year. WHAT?!! Grr...
You were right mom, I should have updated my blog.
Alright, without further ado, here is what my facebook status' say we've been up to for the last 15 months.
One of the risks you take in ignoring your baby's poopy diaper is that he may take the initiative and try and change it himself.
#thatjusthappened #poopeverywhere
Next time I'll weigh my options a little better. It would seem like I didn't do myself any favors in avoiding it. Jan 4 2013
"What do you guys want for breakfast? You can have pancakes or malt-o-meal or..." "Or you could have leftover cake from last night! That's what I'm going to have." - Cooper Jan 4 2013
"Santa Claus knows what your name is. He's a smart guy." - me
"No he's not, he's a spy! Santa and all his elves are spies. Didn't you watch Arthur Christmas?" - Landon Dec 4 2012
"wow mom, your kid is super gross!" -kami Nov 16 2012
Landon is super mad at me because I won't make him more food (because he ate breakfast an hour ago) "ugh! You're the meanest and your not going to let me eat until lunch. Then that's going to be gross. You're going to make it poisonous!" Nov 5 2012
Happy Birthday Husband!!! (who no longer has a facebook but remains the most decidedly incredible man/husband/father/best friend/sexy beast ever. And that's not just propaganda that's real talk.) I love you muffin! Nov 4 2012
"Landon, what do you want to be for Halloween?"
"You have to type 'halloween costumes dot com' so I can look and see!" Oct. 15 2012
So grateful for a husband who finds ways to let me know he loves me even when he is crazy busy. #luckiestgirlalive Oct. 8 2012
Max, my 17 month old, has taken to spitting when he's angry at me.
It's nice to have the popular expression "I'm so angry I could spit"/"spitting mad" finally given a visual representation.
... it's funnier now. Oct. 3 2012
Landon is in peak performance today and after he slammed Max's fingers in the door Cooper promptly responded with "Excuse me, I'm going to go have a talk with that young man!" - Be still my heart. Oct. 2 2012
Once upon a time a boy asked a girl to marry him... she said yes. (naturally) They got married one day and then 9 years later he asked her on a hot date, AFTER he'd already arranged for a babysitter. Aug. 29 2012
Just when you think your day can't possibly get any worse.... your son (4) pees all over every toy in the basement. #realtalk Aug. 24 2012
"ew gross! Mom that guy is running without a shirt on! ... Are you going to call the cops? You should call the cops when people run around naked." - cooper July 28 2012
Landon just told me he was crying "because of a bad decision I made (to tell him no)." July 19 2012
I told my children we could go to the library if they got the house clean.
"No Mom, you have to make the house a mess to go to the library. That's what the other mom's say." - Landon July 16 2012
I just painted my toenails and it looks like a 2 year old did it. I'm far more doubtful of my womanly abilities now. July 14 2012
"Cooper, can you pick up that underwear?"
"But Kami's bum goes in that. I'm picking up bum stuff. REALLY MOM?"
There isn't a day that goes by that I am not grateful to be this child's mother. July 13 2012
After telling Cooper "no" 5 times in a row to the exact same question I finally moaned "I don't care."
To which he happily responded "I knew you'd say 'I don't care'."
He's a clever one July 12 2012
"aagh! facebook?! Are you going to write down something I said?" July 10 2012
Over the past couple weeks every time I ask Kami if she can do something for me she responds with "Why? Are you too lazy?" I've learned to skip the formalities and just answer "yes." July 8 2012
"...No, Max cannot reach that far. His arms are little, like a T-Rex." - Cooper July 2 2012
Cooper: "Mom, smell me."
Mom: "You smell like you coated yourself in cinnamon toothpaste."
Cooper: "I wanted myself to smell nice and fresh and cinnamon smells fresh."
...You got me there kid. Well played. June 28 2012
"Guys! A sleepover is not for having fun. It is for sleeping" -kami. She is at a stage right now where apparently sleeping takes precedence over all other activities. June 26 2012
"It won't be an owie wedgie Landon. Come here." - Cooper June 20 2012
We have the heater on to help dry out the drywall mud. My house smells like Christmas. June 15 2012
I was so excited to pull my bread out of the oven. I got my oven mitt on, set out a trivet and then I realized I never put the bread IN the oven.
Yes... I am my mother. June 8 2012
Landon "yes I did! And don't give me that 'hmm' face." June 7 2012
Every child in this house is screaming at me... This mom needs a nap. June 7 2012
Baby just dumped 4 cups of olive oil on the kitchen floor. He must have known that I wasn't going to actually get around to mopping the floor unless a calamity occurred. Well played baby. Well played. June 5 2012
"Cooper, I'm not going to tell you until you tell me what I just barely said" ...silence... and then "blah, blah, blah, blah" June 3 2012
"My mom is the best! My mom is the best! My mom is the best, best, best, best, best! My mom is the best... etc." This is the song Kami is singing in the bedroom right now. Happiest song I've ever heard. (And now Cooper is singing it as well. Such a happy song!) June 1 2012
Max just learned how to go down stairs and stand up from a crawling position. I'd say that was a pretty successful trip to grandmas. May 19 2012
"When I have kids... when my mother (meaning wife) has kids I'm going to have 100. And all the girls will be dancers and all the boys will be firefighters" - Cooper at dinner May 13 2012
Son is in time out for peeing outside... while jumping on the trampoline. Bizarre. May 10 2012
"I got you a spoon. I'm such a gentleman." -cooper May 5 2012
I gave the baby a haircut... now I want to cry! :( May 2 2012
We have water! Which I think is a sign that the plumbing is operational. April 28 2012
Fun thing about being in the middle of a big basement reno: Your son will go to school wearing the exact same clothes he wore the day before and you won't notice it until after you drop him off... April 26 2012
We have a problem: My teeth hurt and I am scared of the dentist. As in, thinking about going to the dentist makes me so nervous I want to puke... plus it gives me nightmares. I'm hoping to wake up in the morning and pretend this tooth pain never happened... it's worked for 2 years (or has it?) April 4 2012
Landon "Dad, can this be my cheese?" Dad (Brandon Bowen) "Yes, seeing that you just licked it, that can definitely be your cheese." My life is the best! March 25 2012
"Mom, I figured out your not supposed to marry sisters" - Cooper March 12 2012
Every once in a while Landon puts on this stuffy accent and pretends to talk for Max. One of my favorite things Max has every said (via Landon) was spoken just this morning:
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, me peed all over the floor so you guys could slip. What? What? What?!"
Max is kind of a gangster at heart. Only Landon understands his true essence. March 5 2012
I cut my finger open on a plastic fork. Sadly, this is not the first time I have done this. MAD SKILLS! Feb 27 2012
"Landon is practicing his reading. Today he read the following off a bag of chocolate chips: "Only for cookies and kids so they don't get starving!" Feb 24 2012
"Mom, these sandwiches are 100% delicious!" - Cooper. Feb 20 2012
You know you are a mom when you arrive at your destination and realize you aren't wearing any shoes... Feb 13 2012
Cooper: "mom, when I get bigger I'm going to be able to lift you up. Because when you are big you can lift up fat people" Feb 8 2012
My husband just said he finds me "bearable"... That was an ego boost. Feb 6 2012
"Hey! My know who that is! That's the prophet President Monster!" Best ever. Dec 30 2011
Cooper: "Mom, do you want to know what I want for Christmas? A computer. To learn stuff...not to put games on. It will help me learn so much stuff. I just want a computer so I can learn." Right?... not buying it kid. Dec 23 2011
"Mom, some days I want to be a power ranger" - Cooper
Don't we all son, don't we all... Dec 14 2011
"Mom, my like you now... Last night when my was going to bed and my kept getting out of bed my didn't like you." -Landon Nov 23 2011
Landon is under the table teaching Dexter how to pray before he will give him his doggy treat. Cutest boy ever! Nov 8 2011
I love it when the item I was positive wouldn't come clean emerges from the dishwasher all sparkly. I feel like I just cheated death! Nov 8 2011
"How many times mom? How many times did my say not to do that? It was seven or it was eight." - Landon Nov 3 2011
"Well guess who's only cleaning? Oh yeah, Kami again." Love you girl (even with the sass.) Oct 31 2011
Max just blew out of his diaper all the way up to his neck and Landon, simultaneously, missed the toilet by an entire foot and unloaded 1/2 cup of urine into a puddle on the bathroom floor. Potty party at my house! Oct 26 2011
(As I was getting a bath ready for Max) "Good Mom, you need to take a shower. You are WAY stinky! My can smell you from the dinner table." Thanks Landon. Oct 21 2011
"Mom, did you know you will get a real monkey if you clap your hands eleven times?" - Landon Oct 14 2011
Landon's favorite thing to mutter when he's particularly frustrated with my parenting: "Stupid girl." Today, he changed it up a little with a "you girls are so stupid". At least it's plural now so I don't have to take it so personally. Oct 13 2011
"Kami, it's okay if you're sick at school. There's a garbage can and you can just throw up in there." - Cooper Oct 3 2011
I have a rogue frog somewhere in my house... I keep getting the feeling he is watching me. Sept 26 2011
When I went to check and make sure that Landon really had done his chore (cleaning the toilet) I found out that he sprayed the toilet with about a gallon of febreeze. Well, he's got the right idea. Sept 20 2011
"Mom, Cooper's rollie-pollie is still alive! But we dug him a hole for when dies." - Kami. I believe that's what we call great expectations. Sept 16 2011
Whew! If you made it through that, congrats. On the plus side, it has probably taken you a month to read it and now you won't notice as much that it took me another month to update my blog.
This totally beats trying to upload hundreds of pictures and spending your entire new years eve getting caught up on the blog...seriously, I probably should start posting more on facebook.
ReplyDeletelove that you finally posted!
I read most of these already on FB, but it was hysterical to sit here and read them all at once. :) Your life fascinates me haha. Glad I got a hug from you on Sunday, you're still my favorite Brittany!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you updated. Love you.
ReplyDelete